School is starting soon. Just when summer and I were getting along so well. The “tiny dancer” finished her dance intensive. And the boy and I were getting into a routine with the gym, house chores and the pool. And then bam… it’s time to start thinking about school and routines and paper work and a rigid schedule.
I don’t know about you, but when I see those “Back to School” sales out before the last day of school…. I get angry. Damn you corporate America for not understanding that I need a break; the kids need a break! Just ask my kids I refuse to even walk by the aisle or look at the last day folders until August. (Okay, maybe not the folder thing, but the aisle avoidance thing for sure!)
For me not only does it mean that my children will begin their school routine, but as a classroom teacher, it means I will begin mine… and this stresses me out. It wasn’t always like this. I used to look forward to the start of a new school year. I used to look forward to the routine. Believe it or not, I looked forward to the balancing act. I even felt this way when my kids were a toddler and an infant. But in recent years, I dread it. Not so much for my kids, but for me. I know you’ve heard it a thousand times, but TEACHING ISN’T WHAT IT WAS!
This time of the year is filled with excitement and anxiety for me every year. But it seems that lately, it’s also filled with extreme dread. It’s the dread that I am another year older. It’s a dread that one the first day of school for staff, I have to stay standing one more extra round while the younger teachers sit down. It’s also filled with dread that my children, my own children, the ones I birthed, the ones I stress the most over, are another year closer to being “grown”. I don’t really know when a child is grown. Is it when they’re in college? Is it when they’re finished with college? Is it when they move back in with your after college? Is it post graduate? Whenever it is, it scares me.
Note: While this was started on August 21, 2018. Post wasn’t completed until September 19, 2018, for publication.